What would you rather do?
This?
Sometimes it is tempting to get swept away in the many trying moments in this job: another grant rejection, another paper rejection, something that didn’t work out, too much busy work and too little time to sit down and just think; I think you know what I am talking about.
A few days ago, I was asking myself: what would I rather do? After I got the inevitable jokes out of the system (sit by the beach, drink tropical fruit-garnished beverages all day and eat sushi), I think I arrived at the answer: this. This is what I’d rather do. I don’t mean writing this newsletter, I mean this job as a whole.
Yes, I complain about too much teaching, but I also enjoy the moments and trying out new things, and I enjoy how other people get something out of what I say. Yes, I do hate writing reports and don’t enjoy handling finances, but it’s great to have money to do research. And I don’t enjoy dealing with employment stuff and endless red tape connected to that, but I love working with the people in my team. And of course I get sad when I have grants rejected (or when those of team members don’t get funded), and we’ve had quite the streak now in terms of no-fund decisions, but there is also the excitement when you get one approved. I don’t like traveling but I like being somewhere else and meeting old friends and making new ones.
So when you consider everything, this is what I want to do. I don’t want to go into admin or lead a research center or go into policy/ politics.
‘This’ of course could be modified and is always changing anyway. I would like to have more art in my life, and maybe this is something to start on for next year. I would like to have more room for creativity in my research. But I think it is a great realization that fundamentally I’m doing what I actually love. I consider myself exceptionally lucky and privileged.
Have you asked yourself this question?
What really struck me is how, despite grant/paper rejections and all the busywork, you can still say so clearly: this is what I want to do. It genuinely moved me. How have you managed to sustain that love and curiosity for research over the long run?
Thank you for this post and blogging overall. I thought about this question seriously a few years ago. For me, it could be writing, but I do not consider this a viable source of income. I could see myself working with young horses, and I returned to equine work several years ago after a long hiatus (during university, my PhD, and while finding stability in my career). However, it is hard for me to imagine myself outside of research. Even if I imagine myself working in agriculture, which also seems quite inspiring, I would stay in touch with fundamental science.